Britney’s favorite thing about Thanksgiving is pie

In an attempt to win custody of his two children, Sean Preston and Jayden James, Kevin Federline is prepared to make some pretty sensational claims about Britney Spears. According to the Sun, K-Fed will claim that Britney is bisexual and “begged him for a threesome”:

A family source close to Federline said he was “prepared to reveal everything in court”. The insider added: “Britney has told him more than once she is sexually attracted to women and men equally. She has asked Kevin many times if they could have a threesome.” Federline is furious after Britney filed for divorce two weeks ago. The wannabe rapper - who is penning a tell-all book - will claim Britney is guilty of a string of mishaps involving Sean Preston.

Wow this legal strategy is down right bulletproof! I know this because last year I took a Learning Annex course titled “How baseless claims of homosexuality can help you win custody of your children.” It cost $59 but it was totally worth it. After the dispute is decided in K-Fed’s favor, I wouldn’t be surprised if the judge invites him back to his office for punch and cake. There’s only so many times in life you have the chance to sit down and pick the brain of a legal genius.