Rachel Weisz hurts unborn babies!!!

Rachel Weisz is embroiled in controversy after claiming it’s “fine” to drink wine while pregnant, especially since “European women” do it all the time. Weisz, who gave birth to her first child Henry Chance earlier in the year, doesn’t say if she drank while expecting, though I think her son’s webbed feet and inability to even finish HALF of a New York Times crossword puzzle are a big clue. Predictably, medical experts have dismissed her comments as “ill-informed” and “dangerous“. Dr. Raja Mukherjee from a hospital somewhere fires back:

“If Rachel Weisz has drunk during her pregnancy and the baby is fine, then that’s just pure luck. The problem is that you don’t know who is at risk and who is not. There is a risk throughout pregnancy. There is potential harm to the unborn baby’s brain at any point and that is fact.”

You know that guy is a good doctor because his last name has like nine vowels. Seriously, when have you ever seen a doctor with the name ‘Tom Smith’ or ‘Chuck Jones’? Never, my friend, never.

I think Rachel may be on to something here. My Mom mainlined heroine on a pretty routine basis during her pregnancy and I turned out fine. Oh sure, sometimes I lose control of my bowels, but that’s just part of my game, baby!