Jessica Simpson sex tape?

Jessica Simpson is worried that a sex tape between her and ex-husband Nick Lachey will be leaked onto the Internet. The X-rated home movie allegedly includes Lachey and Simpson in a “number of sex acts.” An anonymous source told Britain’s Daily Sport newspaper:

“Jessica is horrified her name and sex tape are being mentioned in the same sentence. She’s always been a girl of high morals and principles.” According to reports the tape does exist and has fallen into the hands of the individuals responsible for leaking the Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee sex video. It has been claimed that they are threatening to leak the tape if Jessica does not pay an undisclosed sum of money to keep it out of the public domain.

Sweet baby Jesus I hope these rumors are true. A Jessica Simpson sex tape would make my year–not because I’m attracted to her (at least not since she took up ice cream as a hobby)–but because I’ve always wanted to see what’s it like when a woman confuses a penis for a telephone.