Lindsay and Paris and fighting again. Or maybe not

I don’t even know where to begin with the latest Lindsay Lohan/Paris Hilton fight so I’ll just let Lindsay describe it in her own words:

“This is a video that Paris Hilton - and I’m saying this on tape - she hit me last night, for no reason apparently, at my friend’s house and I didn’t know she’d be there and she hit me; she hit me with a drink and poured it all over me and it hurts and it’s not okay. And I’m sorry for everyone that thinks I’m crazy. I’m not; I’m just trying to act.”

Splash News is also claiming:

Lindsay went on to call Paris ‘crazy,’ a ‘cokehead’ (pot calling the kettle black?) and dropping a c-bomb by calling her a ‘cunt.’

Wow, Lindsay really likes the word ‘cunt’ (she also used the word a few weeks ago). To be fair, in the hierarchy of trashy euphemisms for female genitals, ‘cunt’ is in a class of its own. It just has a certain edge to it………magically fast forward half a day………ta da!–Lindsay and Paris are friends again:

At 5 AM this morning, Paris’ publicist Elliot Mintz called one of our photographers to hurry down to the Beverly Hills Hotel, and boy were we ever happy to be woken up - when we got there, we found Paris, Lindsay, and Britney kicking it old-school! The trio laughed and giggled like old chums before piling into the front seat of Paris’ whip (jeez guys, way to make the recently-divorced mother of two ride bitch!) and peeling out into the night!

I’m getting sick of these little bitchy catfights between Hollywood whores socialites. She said this, she said that, I slept with so and so’s Grandfather because she stole my boyfriend…blah, blah, blah. You get the point–it’s getting old. You know what would really get my attention? If Lindsay took one of these fights to the next level and pulled out an assault rifle and just start spraying Paris and her friends with bullets. How badass would that be? Incidentally, I’d love it if Paris did the same thing but if she had a loaded assault weapon, she’d probably just throw it at Lindsay and then try to pull her hair. She’s dumb like that.